Signs of Immaturity

by Bogdan on February 14, 2010

Have you ever asked yourself which are the very first signs of a person who is immature? As for today I am in the 40+ age category group: but let me make this crystal clear – age does not equal maturity. Also, acting as an adult in one area does not imply acting the same in all the areas – feel free to use the following thoughts as an indicator for those spots where you want to be a grown up:

When learning, the immature is looking to get the tricks first, rather than the fundamentals which has as consequences not being able to go to the next level and hesitation in adding variations (“his own style”) in doing things

When asked about the purpose, the immature does not offer a clear answer: not knowing what she wants is the norm and usually she is heavily influenced either by others views or by the current context

When being exposed to new knowledge, the immature acts judgmental (“I knew that”) or is in denial (“this is not possible”) and – therefore he does not apply immediately what he learned: delays implementation saying to himself things like “I kneed to study more”, or “It’s too easy – is unfair to do this”

When taken off the tracks - like being in a new, unexpected situation, the immature person either completely shuts down (basically blocks himself of taking any action) or runs wild (taking totally irrational decisions – acting like a chicken without head)

When doing things, the immature is interested in looking smart, rather being efficient and trying to learn – sacrificing the long terms gains for the short term benefits of being perceived as “the expert”

When looking at the bigger scheme of things, the immature has a single perspective – his own: and the clear sign of this is that he goes with the first solution which came to his mind

When challenged, the immature does not feel comfortable in her own skin: she does not ask for help, until is usually too late: and the main reason for this is that she does not create healthy boundries

When making an error, an immature not only blames others, but he is not learning anything form his mistakes, so these occur over and over and over: even more, he does not help others to avoid his own mistakes, to avoid going through the same pain

When others share, the immature will not as she may fear that others will laugh at her, or that the information she possess is not too interesting or that the others may take advantage of gaining “powerful insights (which are usually common sense) and therefore she will loose the “expert” status

Thanks for reading my post, and Please feel free to add your own perspectives on this generous topic.

{ 8 comments… read them below or add one }

Stefan February 15, 2010 at 4:55 am

First of all, happy birthday! This is a great post and it comes at the perfect time. I was just having a conversation with a friend on what’s my definition of maturity (because I just called someone immature :-) ). For me, it boils dows to being self-aware (EQ rather than IQ) + taking responsibility.

Have a joyful and peaceful decade!

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Bogdan February 15, 2010 at 10:55 am

Hi Stefan,

Thanks a lot for your greeting and for your nice words. You are quite right: being self aware especially on how someone feels about himself and about others, and taking responsibility is probably the core of having a mature attitude. Thanks for pointing this out,

Bogdan

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Marian Buhnici February 16, 2010 at 9:48 am

Happy birthday!! :)

Interesting post, mades me wonder: if you realize that your first reaction is immature and you suppress it, does that make you less immature?

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Bogdan February 16, 2010 at 10:56 am

Hi Marian,

Thanks for your nice thoughts and for your comments.

Suppressing – anything – is not a healthy habit. From my experience, by beating yourself up, you are consuming valuable energy. However, being aware of a symptom of immaturity is definitely a step forward towards growth. So what I do, when I catch myself in an immature instance, is to discover why I am acting so “childish”: usually it is a hidden, internal issue. And fixing it is the real path to being more mature.

Cheers,

Bogdan

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Bogdan Aron February 17, 2010 at 11:27 am

This is an article that makes me asking a lot of questions.

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Bogdan February 17, 2010 at 1:00 pm

Hi Bogdan,

Thanks for reading this, and leaving a comment. Questions are probably the most accessible means of bringing more clarity in our lives (while for some, addressing questions is a big NO-NO, probably because even asking is threading their comfort zone). Well done!

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Robert O September 1, 2011 at 8:09 am

You sure hit the nail(s) on the head. There is one thing I would like to add-going through a life-changing crisis helps you realize how immature you were before it happened. Also, sometimes the most immature thing you can do is not accept that mistakes are after all, normal, and the best thing you can do is learn from them.

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joe February 5, 2012 at 8:52 pm

So true. I completely agree.

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